I am safe in this human world

What is your guidance and command for me today, dear Ones?

To have fun! Larks! To issue inwards and forth the vibration of enJOYment. To laugh. To feel glee. To reach for the best feeling thought at each moment.

Abraham-style?

Arabella-style. What are the innocent pleasures of your inner child? (Not your inner adolescent, btw)

Mud pies and brooks. Rabbits. Puddles and warm kitchens.

Excellent. Then let’s dress for that. Your 9-10am hour is for mud pies and brooks, rabbits and puddles. 10-11am is for warm kitchens and cosiness.

Yesterday, I thought my heart would break entirely. An hour in the park, lurking round trees and collecting leaves of bright colours did very much lift me.

That second chakra which is where the courage and gall gather, around the lower dan tien, is equally linked to nature. Being in nature helps to clear the belief in powerlessness.

We are reaching for sustained vibrational alignment with nature today. Nature holds the frequency match for this early budding fearlessness. See how exposed nature is. Look at the tree which has no hiding place either from the elements or from the gaze of the other. Rooted at its station, it must disrobe each Autumn and stand naked in your view until Spring bestows leaves upon its branches again.

Your ability to stand rooted on your spot on Earth, exposed in your splendour and your nakedness in turn, according to the whim of the season, marks your ability to live in harmony with your fellow humans.

Nowhere to hide.

The analogy must encompass both seasons. Nowhere to hide in winter’s nakedness. Nowhere to hide in summer’s grandeur. Peace at all times.

Are we talking about the ironing out of both shame and vanity, those alternating psychoses?

We are talking about being rooted all your round. Neither hiding in our poverty, nor skipping round seeking attention in our moment of wealth. For poverty and wealth are illusions of the ego.

We are talking about indifference to the gaze of the ‘Other’. The tree considers only two factors: the earth and the sky. The earth nourishes and holds its roots. The sky provides seasonal, elemental gifts: the sun that photosynthesises its leaves, the rain that washes it clean, the frost that freezes out old life to make room for new, the wind that takes its seed on the breeze. Passing birds, creatures and walkers are incidental occurrences (and pleasures) relative to the all encompassing focus on earth and sky.

Likewise, it is for you to focus on your roots in the ground (‘get grounded’) and on the seasonal gifts that the Unseen brings you, relishing, welcoming and trusting the times of cold as much as the times of warmth. You know deeply in your heart that each season in your life, year, month and day has its purpose. No season is an insult, an offence, or a sign of life’s ‘abandonment’ of you. Even should winds blow your branches off, you can learn to thank the wind for releasing you of outgrown wood.

The incidental occurrences then find their place lower down the scale of your attention. Bills, admin, emails, events, stories, ripples in your emotions, wounds, traumas, interpersonal highs and lows – these all start to become the birds that alight on your branches and then leave, the bugs that trundle across your bark before dying or being eaten, the walkers that skip, stomp or jog past you. They are but incidentals, transient happenings, next to the simple eternity of your relationship with earth and sky.

In this entirely nurturing and simple environment, it is safe to relax, to remain at your post, to cease uprooting and replanting yourself. It is safe to stop running to some imagined haven. The haven is where you are. Always. The only adjustment ever required is a recentering of focus; pushing the roots down deeper and the gaze up higher.

I can push my roots down deeper. Is this not akin to attachment? I pushed my roots deeper into our last house, and had to leave it nonetheless.

Your house is not the soil into which you place your roots. A house is a physical object, and your roots are not of the physical world. When we talk about getting grounded and rooted, we are talking about a state of mind, not place. The nomad or the pilgrim or the wandering minstrel learns to push roots down wherever she may be while on this planet. If you want to think of pushing roots down in terms of ‘place’, ten let planet Earth be your reference point, for Earth is the playground of your current life experience. Earth School has a physical boundary which begins and ends with planet Earth. For this reason, your prayers and hopes for the Earth are ever acceptable, because you are all asked to learn to find your unity on Earth. The purpose of Earth School is to learn that humanity is One.

I shall root myself on planet Earth. I think it is fair to say that over past years I have been existing preponderously in my head. Qigong is helping me exist within my entire physical body. I disowned and escaped and dissociated from my body a great deal, didn’t I?

Indeed you did. And you are returning to it now which is a great step of development. For you are learning to exist in your body, with your eyes open to the manifold insanities of this world, and remain calm and centred in your body at the same time. Gold star, dear friend. Gold star.

What about pushing my gaze up higher?

You’ve got that one underway, dear one. For now, focus on your rootedness on Earth, with Earth as your home and your friend. Love it and let it nurture you. You are held firmly and safely. Learn this for now.

……

It feels as though I am going through a process of entirely retraining my conditioned brain/body/mind. Is that right?

Your bodymind had become conditioned to meet all eventualities in high fight/flight mode. You could have moved through your challenges at the time doing this retraining as you went, but you didn’t have the tools.

So underneath the waters, in the subconscious part of the iceberg psyche, a ‘trembling’ vibration had set in?

That is correct. For this reason, you kept stepping into situations which resonated with your subconscious frequency of fear. Your rational conscious mind kept thinking it had found a work/home/routine solution which would bring calm and centredness; but as long as your subconscious mind was pulsating a vibration of threat and fear, even the most promising scenario would either turn out to have been damaging from the start or would become damaging through a series of odd turns. All of which left you baffled and yet more entrenched in a subconscious pattern of fear.

Presumably this is also why willpower and reason alone has been powerless to help me overcome my addictive behaviours. My subconscious mind has been shouting out “Panic! Run!” and because I haven’t been able to find the locus of the panicker, I’ve just drowned out the sounds of its cries with substances in order to be able to get on with life.

When did this reign of terror in my subconscious mind begin?

Early childhood.

Was it through life circumstances (things that ‘happened’ to me) or as a natural, almost unavoidable outcome of my amydala-forward Asperger’s brain?

Let us take it back to its actual origins which are karmic. Previously (in previous lifetimes) you accrued karma in causing others to experience fear, and you also experienced fearful deaths, so in your between-lives period, you selected a life course in which you would experience and transmute acute fear, and powerlessness.

Why was it important to transmute the fear and powerlessness?

Having died with unresolved fear of your own, you wanted to return to the point of fear and then resolve it through developing courage. With reference to the karma accrued by inflicting fear, you chose to learn to transmute fear because the soul needs to balance karma through evolving consciousness. Karma is not merely about punishment or ‘an eye for an eye’. It is about dissolving ignorance and gaining insight into reality. Reality is that All is One. Had you understood this earlier you would neither have inflicted fear in past lives, nor bought into fear in this life. Your learning insights about the illusion and fantasy of fear is part of your evolution and therefore part of the evolution of the One. No single insight truly garnered belongs only to the individual who has the insight. It becomes part of the universal consciousness. And remember: an insight is not a thing or a badge or a reward. It is merely a fractional advance in the global awakening. It is another scale to fall from the collective eye. Truth is unchanging; ignorance is ever-shrinking. All participate in the awakening from deep sleep, even, if necessary for karmic reasons, through acts of evil, darkness and ignorance. Insane acts by the few affirm the awakening of the many who would awaken sooner rather than later.

Those dark, sinister ones you see may well have offered themselves up in service to humanity, to act as cattle prods and taser stun guns to speed the healing of humanity. They accepted they would be vilified for their deeds. They offered up this service perhaps to complete their karmic cycle.

Are you saying that the ones we vilify are just performing a service to help us grow?

Remember ‘The People of the Lie’ by M. Scott Peck? The ones you vilify and imprison and cast stones at are rarely the ones who actually bring true darkness into the world. The ones who are actually moved by dark forces and who are ‘sleeping souls consumed by ego’ will do an excellent job at concealing the fact. They are perhaps your suited and booted and trusted and smiling neighbours and elected persons. They are the ones you barely notice. They seem benign, charming and affable. But as you know, humanity is waking up to this too.

In this new era, all is revealed in its truth. All.

Lordy. Forgive me my sins. If we all knew our truths were to be revealed…

It is a source of great amusement to those beyond the third dimension that any (and all) of you humans believe that personal secrets, transgressions and deeds can be anything other than as plain to see as the noses on your sweet faces. In reality, your entire truth is painted in vivid technicolor in your auras. It’s just you can’t see your auras, so you carry on as through your secrets and shames can be masked by your personas, narratives or good works. No wonder you are all wracked with exhaustion! What a juggling act!

That nakedness of the tree in winter…

Indeed.

Instead of masking, protecting, defending, jazz handing – all of which is essentially futile because there is nothing to fear and no way of hiding anyway – can slide away and be replaced by rootedness and sky gazing.

And for ‘rootedness and sky gazing’ you can say ‘being present to all that is, in calmness and centredness, without judgement or opinion’.

Nowness and Isness in Oneness. Like a tree.

Deep, man…

🙂 I’m going for a walk.

Make like a tree, dude.

Yeah, what did that ever mean anyway??

…..

So having parked on the edge of the city, planning to walk along the river out of town, I diverted at the last moment and followed the river path towards the town.

On my right, the flowing river, narrow boats puffing wood-smoke, puddles, trees and birds; to my left, a high fence and industrial estates and the incessation sound of hustling traffic.

I stopped to consider a single tree, asking myself whether, for one minute only, I could actually make like a tree. I admired the way it silently let ivy consume it, and brambles lean in on it, and leaves to fall from its branches. I became moved by the bravery of the tree! Just to stand there amongst bizarre meeting of human industry and feral nature. I felt myself melt into it a little. Then, a walker with dogs came into my peripheral vision and I tightened up and fled. Five minutes onwards, the noise and industry felt too impinging and I returned towards the civilisation of non-civilisation.

How have I become so thwarted that even a tree intimidates my by its courage and steadfastness?!

Remember the soul retrieval work you did earlier in the year? With the work on the Languagw of Emotions too? Well in that time you drew your shattered soul fragments back and learnt how to cease dissociating from your body. You healed many memories and forgave many people, most of all, yourself.

Now, you are merely working through the overhanging cellular and psychic memories.

You might like to think of it as ‘relational PTSD’. You were on a relational battle field, where the Other became a terrifying monster.

You are now off the battle field and your conscious mind accepts that their is no enemy Other. In fact you can almost fully conceive that the Other is your brother/sister and even….a reflection of you in a mirror. Good stuff.

However, the soldier needs time and learning to retrain the subconscious brain that the battle field has been left behind.

Your daughter gave you an excellent technique yesterday, when you were discussing ‘judging other people’. She said she had learnt that:

Your first thought is your conditioned thought.

Your second thought is your considered, own thought.

In terms of ‘judging other people’ she gave the example of responding to another’s words with thoughts of:

1. Oh, shut up!!

(Pause: oh that’s the reaction I’ve been conditioned by society to come up with….)

2. Express yourself! Be free!

Brilliant for a 15 year old, isn’t it?!

She’s a wise one, that girl. And compassionate to her core.

So with Relational PTSD I might have thoughts of:

1. God help me! I’m going to be consumed/attacked/abandoned/tricked/judged/criticised/made to pay with my blood….!

(Pause: ah, that’s old battle field thinking…)

2. Hello friend. How ya doing? What love/kindness/understanding/Light shall we share in this moment?

Very nice indeed.

Over the last week, as I’ve been in bed a lot and really calming down, I’ve developed a sensitivity for what a call the fly in the ointment. It’s when I’m cruising along and all is well in this new calmness, and suddenly a thought comes into my head which causes me to clench around it. I say ah there’s the fly in the ointment and I release it. When I can. When I’m really on top of things and invested more in the calmness than the loss/heartbreak/exhaustion.

Excellent. So this is your practice. To spot the fly in the ointment whenever your perception of the Other becomes clenchy.

I can do that.

I’d like to heal that old trigger mechanism that would have me believe that the Other is out to get me. It gets fairly lonely in the bubble I create for safety.

As soon as the new vibration of love and trust and assurance has been embedded in the very base of your psyche’s iceberg, those old critters you constantly attracted will just vanish from your space. And the crittery behaviours in your loved ones will simply change to smoother, more centred interactions. There’s the carrot for your efforts of learning new awareness! Keep going. Every encounter and thought is an opportunity to embed the new belief: I am safe in this human world.

Woah. It makes my stomach jump, with both nerves and anticipation.

Then we’ve obviously found the correct slogan for this time. Work it, sunshine, and prove its wondrous truth!

Non-tinkering: an end to striving

7.09am

Is it fair to say that I actually am from another planet?

It would be incredible for you to assume otherwise.

Couldn’t someone have told me?!

No one enters the Land of the Deep Sleep with an orientation pack in hand. The orientation is in the waking up. As Earth is in its great awakening, it needs as many souls as possible to arrive in great confusion and through acts of unimaginable will, to manifest – in themselves, which is to say, within the holographic One – an awakening.

So, perhaps it goes like this..? I arrive on the physical plane, Earth, and am born more than averagely innocent, naive and guileless in worldly terms; highly intuitive and sensitive in interdimensional terms. I’m happy enough in blissed-out Oneness as an infant, but 3D life starts to collide into my happy sphere. My significant adults are incapable of holding it away from me (largely because of my own feisty and purposeful ego) and certainly have few skills to impart on how to remember my origin. So, forgetful of my origin and Source, I believe my (egoic) Self to be under threat of mortal attack and I fall into deep fear. The gentle slumber of childhood has deepened into an adolescent/adult night terror. Life conspires then to spiral downwards, as my fearful thinking obediently creates a fearful reality for me.

Eventually, I sense that there is a pattern: the worse I feel, the worse I find life gets. And I notice to my bewilderment that there are fellow humans who are not feeling worse and finding worse. In fact, the better they feel the better they feel! I begin to question the idea that life is inherently dangerous…because the rule simply doesn’t apply to all. I try and mimic the happy dudes, perhaps to cut myself a slice of the pie of their sprightly careers and enthusiastic castle building. Only, as a result, I feel worse – exhausted and shattered and frazzled in fact. I reassess the principles at play. I read voraciously. I start to write to understand myself and my world. When humbled and desperate enough, I begin to study and learn spiritual insights. When REALLY broken, I even begin to defy my egoic resistance to healing and begin to practise those principles…rather like a newborn baby at the moment it realised it must do things really, really differently to survive, and instantly (because it has not yet learnt egoic resistance) Follows Its Instincts – and opens its mouth and gasps for oxygen.

Awakening occurs… Spiritual oxygen enters… The inner spirit sputters into life like a willed-upon motorboat engine in the middle of rough seas.

And in that moment, the Earthly plane finds itself irreparably inched closer to its overall recovering from deep sleep.

One wretched soul at a time???

The collective is not made of individual souls. It is One.

And the notion of other planets? And our coming in to assist Earth in awakening?

Think of white blood cells. If a virus enters a human body – say through a cut in the hand – the white blood cells hear the message of need from wherever they are in the body, and rush over to provide healing. The created universe is akin to the body; the white blood cells exist across all dimensions. Earth is in urgent need of healing and help is flowing in from all ‘corners’ of the created universe.

So, having got this far, relax! Your only job is to keep on waking up!

I have been in such a deep sleep. And waking up doesn’t necessarily make things easier. You wake up to see that sleepwalking is the normal MO.

Can you speak of the souls who have come into the world to live a life in deep autism? Speaking as one in ‘light’ (?!) autism, and experiencing the dissonance day after day on this planet where ‘insane thinking’ (fear-based thinking) is the normal, I would like to be reassured of the purpose of autism.

If you stand with bare feet in water and come in contact with electricity, you are paralysed by the charge. If you wear rubber boots and rubber gloves, you have a greater chance of letting go of the electric cable. Souls with autism are pure spirit beings, unprotected by the rubber safety wear that allows others to exist in the dissonant time/space dimension.

You know full well that persons with autism are fifth dimensional beings having an acute, unmediated third dimensional experience.

Those blessed souls are holding the electric cable to save others from electrocution and to allow others to wake up and get out of the water.

That sounds horrific. I don’t know if I feel like leaving that in writing.

Autism is a harsh condition. Harsh metaphors apply. But as you know, ‘harsh’ is a third dimensional fantasy. In reality, all being is simply love expanding itself. In reality, the higher selves of all people with autism are fully conscious of the immense service they are rendering. There are no greater teachers than these souls. Fortunately, the earth peoples are slowly beginning to realise this, and to turn to these souls with curiosity and wonder.

Starting with Rainman, no?

Indeed. Slowly, disgust and pity are turning to curiosity and wonder, with compassion watering the seed. Those who really, really open their hearts and pay attention, begin to listen and are guided by their autistic loved ones into a state of quiet stillness (that is a miracle in itself) and then into a state of following…into the enlightened vibration of their loved ones.

Like Bear and Samahria Kaufman (?) being led by Raun into ‘joining’. And the girl in the purple book. And others who have facilitated conversation with their non-speaking loved ones through technology?

Yes. Loving or even merely knowing someone with autism is an immense opportunity for learning fifth dimensional protocols: intuitive communication, heart to heart resonance, inner peace, inner silence.

You know, I think I wanted to believe (and ‘improve’ or even ‘prove’ my third dimensional self identity so much and so desperately that it eventually swelled up and exploded. It became a horrific monster of shame and wrongfulness and loss. Eventually, I crumbled…and rose again to try to prove the identity yet harder, and then crumbled harder and rose harder and crumbled harder and rose harder…until I couldn’t rise again. Cue: collapse of all I thought I was trying to gain or accrue to myself. In 2015 I found myself sick, fatigued and impoverished. In which case who or what was I?

Finally, something began to dawn on me. I was not what I had thought I was, or rather what I was aspiring and failing to be. I was nothing really. Just nothing. Just like everyone else. I was just a fragment of collective consciousness. My egoic consciousness had finally been pierced, after a raging battle which had been waged for maybe two and a half decades with me leading the troops out on its behalf again and again and again.

In a process of immeasurable pain (crucifixion), I switched sides. From the egoic conqueror force to the bodhisattva warrior side: nothing to win and nothing to lose; nowhere to go and nothing to do.

I read and wrote voraciously to open my very fixed mind. I started studying meditation, qigong and kung fu to learn to sit steadily in the seat of my saddle (my bodymind).

I accepted the moment as it came, again and again.

And things started to shift. People began to flow into my life. I began to learn to accept.

And then, only then, could I begin to find a renewed sense of self again, a self which perhaps in time I could take out into the third dimensional world without simultaneously rendering myself up as battle fodder. This Is a self which is wary and aware. A self which is cautious of mission and goal setting, knowing those actions to provoke tendencies of ego assertion. A self which has an idea that the world is just healing itself and that, being in the flow of that healing might be a nice place to be, as receiver and giver, as yin and yang, as student and teacher. A self which is waking up softly in a world which is waking up softly.

This is where I am today. In the nick of time.

Perfection returning to perfection. There is no late or early for that process, because it is an eternal expansion of consciousness. It occurs within time and out of time. In the timeless multiverse perfection just ‘is’.  In the time-based dimension, perfection is always simply drawing closer to itself, to its original Source.

But we go through cycles, don’t we? The collapse of civilisations, regression into war, falling into sleep.

Humanity’s belief in the possibility of a Fall is its last belief in separation. This will be overcome. In time. Until time is no longer needed. And then time will return to the single point of Now.

Does time allow us space to shoot forward and reverse and straighten up, and iron out our unconsciousness?

Time is a mat upon which is set the motherboard of the great computer. Collectively, humans are tinkering with and mastering the motherboard, by trial and ‘error’.  The motherboard cannot be broken. As the computer (consciousness) comes to know itself fully and understands its own perfection (wakes up), the motherboard can be left alone. End of time. Ongoing perfection.

Wow. So shall I just try and stop tinkering?

If you would. Then others can be encouraged to stop tinkering.

Like Pema, Adyashanti, Diana Cooper, Matt Kahn. They don’t do stuff so much as move about teaching ‘non-tinkering’.

Exactly. Advocating non-tinkering without tinkering is an art in itself. 🙂 By their fruits shall ye know them. The non-tinkerer who would ‘change the world’ is a tinkerer. The non-tinkerer who points to the perfection of the motherboard/world is a non-tinkerer.

🙂 Indeed. ❤ Thank you. I am nothing. And in being nothing I am also everything. This feels like the end of striving. Which I assume is the end of suffering. I let perfection arise in and through me, rather than striving for a perfection as if it were out there and separate to me. The natural order is restored as I allow it to be so. That is my mastery. Non-tinkering.

….

Beautiful! I just finished watching this video which I began last night, with Norma Milanovich: http://youtu.be/bWGROcdBbdA

She reminded us that, as we step on to the spiritual path, it is not what we do but the motive in our hearts which is seen, and recorded and accrues under the law of cause and effect. That helps, because since the wholesale loss of all my protocols and principles for living, I really barely know how to structure my days or even how to do anything. I’m starting from scratch.

She also suggests by asking God a similar question the that in ACIM…

Yes. “God, right now today and this week, please. What would you have me do, say, think and feel? And overall, what motive would you have me hold in my heart – one I can understand and learn through please?”

Be bold. The spiritual path demands boldness in equal and opposite measure and vigour to your ego when it was activated and leading. When the ego senses a new leader which is as bold and as vigorous as itself, it becomes, as Milanovich put it in the video above, ‘tempered’. Quite soon, the ego learns to enjoy and serve the Path too and then you really can accelerate your total service.

Be bold. Step off the cliff.